Holiday Blues

It takes a lot of courage to step on a plan and prepare yourself to fly back to a country you are supposed to call home, there is something about that warm sun that makes you want to stay and never look back.

That's how I felt stepping on the plane preparing to fly back to England, a place where I knew I didn't belong. 

The "Holiday Blues" is something we all go through, a holiday is supposed to relax you and make you happier however when coming back you find yourself in a worse state compared to when you left.

I remember the tears rolling down my eyes as the seatbelt sign went off and I knew it was over, I didn't want to leave, in Dubai I had family, family that loved me and were all desperately waiting at the airport to come pick me up.

Here? I had the taxi driver Dave....

I was leaving people that loved me to come back to a place I hated and for the life of me I did not get why on earth I didn't run off the plane when I had the chance. 

In fact I almost did, there were a couple that ran off the plane, I wanted to follow, but knew I had a job to get back to, and I was not entitled to any more leave.

After arriving back home I spend 5 days straight in my room sulking and binge watching reality TV, I didn't want to put my coat on, go outside and face the cold I had escaped for 2 weeks. I knew that the second I felt that cool breeze on my skin it would officially be over.

At home I could turn the heating up, close my eyes and just pretend.

I wish I could say a week after coming back I feel better, because I don't. I have no idea what I'm looking for but I know its not this, but who knows? I may feel differently 2 months down the line.

Even though I'm still struggling with the harsh reality there have been a few things that have helped me with my so called holiday blues. 

1.  Get out of the house, seriously.
2. Spend time with people that make you smile.
3. Create a memory, that will help you form an attachment with your country.
4. Assure yourself there will be more opportunities to travel.
5. Start saving for your next holiday!, this will not only give you something to work for but also something to look forward to!

Thank you so much for reading, I know this isn't the happiest of posts but I just had to share this experience with you.

Lana xx